Hasta la Vista, Baby (5 - E)

AP Lang is probably the most valuable class I've taken to date, and I know it will continue to benefit me far into the future. Learning how to take notes and write quick essays are certainly important things that I learned in this class, but that's only the material; there's so much more than that here. I learned how to properly take part in a thoughtful discussion, how to use evidence to back up my opinions. I learned that the word "aggressive" should never be used as a tone word because it only means punching someone in the face. I learned the polite way to meet someone's parents and how to act on a date. I learned that I'll never be able to watch a commercial ever again without analyzing the rhetorical appeals and complaining about it to my entire family who's just trying to watch Criminal Minds. I know these may seem like silly examples, but they really do show the full extent of knowledge that AP Lang (or at least Ms. McMahon's version of it) teaches. I know that I will be able to sit in a college class and quickly take notes while the professor lectures. I know that I will be able to discuss my work and opinions with a group of people I may or may not know and feel confident that what I'm saying has meaning and merit. I know that I will be able to write a (rough) essay in under an hour and be confident that I have explained all of my points thoroughly and cited all of my sources. And, most importantly, I know that if I ever have to pick up a date, I will be able to make a good impression on their parents and be able to lead them down any flight of stairs without them falling on their face. At the end of the day, what other knowledge could you really need?

AP Lang did more than teach me a simple school curriculum to prepare me for a test; it taught me how to live. I know I started this blog saying I never wanted to take lang, and that's still true, but I could never deny its value to my life. I've become a more prepared, more confident, and more intelligent person because of this class, and I could never forget the lessons I've learned. So even though this is hasta la vista, it isn't really a full goodbye.

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner (4 - B, E)

Praise Dirty Dancing. Praise Patrick Swayze.

Discussions. Opinions. "What do you think about this?" These listed words and phrases spark horrific fear in period 5. We sit in heavy silence, our eyes darting around like flies to see if anyone will speak first. We all think that if no one speaks, we as an individual will open the conversation. Yet the seconds pass, dragging by like a body through quicksand...

Nobody put us in this corner. We put ourselves into this corner. And for what? Fear of being wrong? Spoiler alert, it's your opinion, no right or wrong answer. Fear of being questioned? Well yes, that was always the case, but how can anyone have a proper discussion if they don't back up their facts, cite their sources, give their audience a reason to believe in what they're saying. And yes, we got annoyed when we were scolded for not speaking up, but there was little reason to be. But eventually, we got comfortable. Not all of us, no, but there was a group, those who always had ideas and who always wanted to address them. We came to understand that our own individual thoughts were not useless information meant to be ignored, but rather shimmering slivers of gold that when brought together create a valuable wonder. 

I suppose a good majority of the year was spent preparing us for the argument essay, even when we were learning rhetorical analysis and going over multiple choice. All of the readings we did since day one, the content and videos and discussions, they were all giving us fuel for argument, strengthening our minds so they could go from analyzing persuasive elements to incorporating those elements into our own persuasive piece. It's likely obvious at this point that argument was my favorite unit, and it taught me perhaps the most about both the world around me and the world inside my own head.

This was one of the first (if not the first, I don't remember) arguments we wrote in class. There was a lot of prep prior, REHUGO and things like that, but even then, I floundered a bit during the writing. I worried that I wouldn't be able to formulate both my argument and enough relevant sources in the span of about five minutes, was sure that I would start to panic and just start grasping at straws to make sure I didn't run out of time. McMahon would always say that sometimes people write themselves into a good essay, and I think that applies to me most of the time, especially with argument. I would start just to start, but the further I got into it, the more confident I would become about my stance. I would expand on my points, maybe add an example or two, and typically have a better final body paragraph than the first one (and considering I always got 7's and 8's on all my arguments, I guess that wasn't too bad, but I'm not here to brag). 

The argument prep, I think, helped me more with outside social skills rather than actually writing the essay. Not that I feel it didn't prepare me at all for the essay; After only the first semester with RA, I already felt confident enough in my quick essay writing skills that argument wasn't too much of a change. Instead, it helped me to learn how to think on the spot, to rummage through the lockers in my mind to find a variety of examples, real life, fictional, or anything else, that could be used to back up that quick thinking. I learned how to put myself into my writing, learned that it was okay to be personal and include yourself in your work because it is your work and any reader should be able to understand that, to get a feel of you through nothing more than simple words on a paper. And I learned how to discuss life topics with people who weren't in the small confines of my AP Lang family, with people in my own family. I've never been comfortable talking about the politics of the world with adults, partly because I felt like I never knew enough to be able to speak on the matter and mainly because, as a child, my opinion, no matter how informed, would never be acknowledged. That part is still a hurdle I'm working on passing, but I know about the world now. Maybe I'm still not good at politics and maybe I never will be, but I have confidence in talking about the ethics of abortion, gun laws, mass shootings, global warming, and individual human identity, among plenty of others. AP Lang taught me that my status as a child, or at least as someone younger than the adults, does not mean I can't and don't have a say. My opinion will always be valid, no matter the topic, and as long as I have hard facts to prove those opinions, no one has the right to try and cut me out of a conversation simply because of my age. I never had that confidence before. If there's anything I'm most thankful to lang and Ms. McMahon for, it's giving me that confidence, for taking me out of my corner and helping me to realize that I have a voice and I should use that voice. Not only that, but I have learned that I like using that voice, I like stating my opinion and being heard because I know that my voice matters, no matter what it's being used to say. 

At this point I realize I just began to drone on and forgot to include possibly my favorite argument essay I wrote this year, the one about artifice. I had never heard that word before this essay, and I wasn't provided with any kind of definition, but I was able to figure it out for myself and write a fairly strong argument about it.  

It's not the strongest or most powerful thing I've ever written, considering I was always a little hesitant because I wasn't positive of the word I was writing about, but I still like this one. I honestly can't give a specific reason why. Maybe it's because so many people that read it gave me an 8 as a grade, or maybe it's because I'm not entirely sure why it is an 8. Whatever my reason, I just felt I should include this because of how I feel about it, and maybe there was a specific reason I was given an 8 that Ms. McMahon is thinking of right now and wondering how I can't see it. Either way, it's here, and I don't know how to properly end this one so here's a meme. 

A Modest Proposal will always hold a special place in my heart

If You Can Dodge a Wrench, You Can Dodge a Ball (2 - A, D)

But you can't dodge a timed essay in AP Lang. I know, I've tried, but alas, I did not prevail. 

The first timed essay we wrote was in October. It was absolute hell. It was all the fear I'd been feeling about this class put into the day I had been dreading since I learned what essays were. I was under prepared and terrified. My life was ending.

Nah, that's a total exaggeration. Writing that essay was hell, but I knew that one I got through it, I would really be on the path to getting better and succeeding in this class. I knew it would be horrible, but I also knew there wasn't really anything I could do about it. At least it was obvious that it could only get better from there. And that first stepping stone wasn't even that low: only a 5 out of 9 when I was honestly expecting a 2 or a 3. It was a step I knew I needed to take to start this journey, and I'm (now) glad that Ms. McMahon gave it to us that early. (please read the following with caution. It's really bad)

I consistently got 7's on most of my RA's, until the end of the year when I finally got to an 8 (which hopefully carried on into the exam). There was a time between the start of argument and the beginning of exam review where I completely forgot how to write an RA, and so I did not feel ready to write a final one a week before the test. I was so convinced that I had gotten a 6 on that essay (4 people including myself gave me said score), but apparently (unless McMahon was just being nice), there are some formulas you just don't forget.

I was really surprised when I got this back, and quite pleased with my big bad self. I had a sort of an epiphany looking at it, even though it may seem like a small, insignificant moment in the scale that is this class: no matter how much I stressed about the AP test (or many other applicable things in life), there was no need to doubt what I had already learned. I had had a good year with a good teacher that, no matter how annoyed and angry I got with her, clearly knew how to teach, and here was that teaching showing itself. It gave me another level of confidence when it came to the AP test, just knowing that I knew what I knew and it would make itself known when it was needed. 

This carried over into the SAT's that I took only a few weeks after the exam. I stressed about that test for WEEKS before the date was even close; after all, it is the main assessment that decides whether I get into college. But again, in yet another situation, there was no need to doubt myself. In my complete, honest opinion, the SAT's (well, the English section) were easy. I was so prepared (over prepared) for the multiple choice sections simply because of all the hardcore prep we'd done for the AP test (so yes, Ms. McMahon, your plan worked out perfectly), and the essay was a breeze compared to all the AP ones I'd read and written. I had honestly believed that the SAT was going to be set up like the AP test, with complicated, insightful questions about the readings, but they were completely straightforward and simple. I can't say that I did amazing without knowing my scores, but I have confidence in what I did, and I never would have been so prepared if McMahon had not made me so prepared. So here's a personal message: thank you for taking such pride in your teaching and working hard to fix things in us that were "lacking" (for lack of a better term) in past classes. It was absolutely your teaching that gave me confidence on the SATs, and I truly hope it pays off and gets me into college. 

English, Motherf*****, Do You Speak It? (1 - E)

A lot of people who were in or are currently in AP Lang talk about how they were persuaded to take the class after the traditional current-students-tell-sophomore-students-to-take-this-class-because-it's-cool speech, or they took it out of necessity and started off completely freaked out but started to enjoy it a few weeks in, or they felt ready and willing to take the class in the first place. I was not that person. Not in the slightest. See, I had known I was going to take AP Lang long before I was an audience member to that speech sophomore year, and the sole reason I knew was because I wanted to be an English major and felt I should take the hardest English classes to be better prepared (interesting that I no longer want to be an English major). Plus, it was the best class to take for SAT prep, and I knew I would have to do really well on that test if I wanted to actually get into college. But that doesn't mean I was ever excited about it. My brother Zach took lang three years before I did, and he pretty much hated it. I heard so many stories about how difficult and annoying it was, and I got PLENTY of stories about Ms. McMahon, AKA McMonster. Basically, I was not excited to take lang; I was terrified.

Now from here this could become an "oh, I really didn't want to take this class at first, but I got used to it a few weeks/months in," but that wasn't the case for me either. I can't say I was miserable all of the time, but I certainly wasn't enjoying myself. I can't even say I got used to it either because I never made my peace with annotations and I don't think I ever will. I could keep going on, but I don't want to continue to give the impression that this entire blog is about how much I hate AP Lang, because despite everything I've just said, I don't. I realize I actually quite enjoyed the lessons I learned, now that it's basically over. It took me until the end of the year to come to terms with that, and I can see now just how valuable this class is to me, both in the present and the near and far future. I learned so much in this class, and even though I had plenty of mental breakdowns and sleepless nights along the way, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. I thought I knew how to write before lang, and I discovered that I was sorely mistaken about a week in. I thought I would never be able to write a whole five paragraph essay in less than a day, and now I can write one in less than an hour. I thought I would never be able to sit at a table and engage in a political conversation about the state of the world with my family, and although that one took longer, I was mistaken about that too. I learned about education, the world I live in, and myself, and I never would have realized this potential had I not chosen to take this class. So at the end of the day, I'm not sorry for the many times I complained and cursed out this class, but I'm very thankful for the determination to keep with it until the end (both my own and that spurred by spite), where all of it is worth it.

You Fell Victim to One of the Classic Blunders (3 - C)

In my completely honest opinion, synthesis prompts are weird. Synthesis essays are basically just advanced arguments, but they're just kind of wack. Argument prompts are all like "describe the connection between certainty and doubt," while synthesis prompts are "so, wind farms?"

Nah, I'm just kidding. I actually quite liked the synthesis essay, even though we learned it a bit too close to test date for comfort. It did give me major PTSD from APUSH sophomore year, when I absolutely BOMBED every DBQ we wrote all year (yes, including the one on the exam), but a DBQ is a lot more complicated than an AP Lang synthesis. I used to think that it was way too much to have to be able to read seven documents AND put them together into a cohesive, thoughtful essay in under an hour; now I think I could do it in my sleep (hyperbole, but the point has been made). 

We spent a rather long time on our first synthesis, going through it piece by piece in groups and focusing on the relationships between the documents. It didn't erase my anxiety completely (let's be honest, nothing will), but it certainly helped me feel more comfortable. I felt as prepared as I could have been by the time we wrote the essay in class, and I didn't do horrible on it.

In this lovely piece about the process behind planning and building monuments, you can read all of my petty and angry comments about how a monument depicting Christopher Columbus is absolutely absurd. It's nowhere close to my best or favorite synthesis, but for my first legitimate synthesis, it's adequate. 

"Why do you say 'legitimate synthesis,' Teagan?" Well, crazy voice in my head, I say this because, plot twist, this in class synthesis was not the first timed and graded synthesis I wrote in my glorious AP Lang career. In fact, my first one was none other than the one I had to write on the mock AP test, you know, the one we did before we had finished learning everything (this is not a jab at Ms. McMahon and I'm not even salty about it, I just like acting petty for entertainment). And, plot twist part two, I actually didn't fail that synthesis!

And before you ask, yes, voice in my head, I am this dramatic in writing, but only if I'm really into it. This may be a sign that I'm having a bit too much fun with this blog, but is that really a bad thing? (please don't give me a bad grade, Ms. McMahon, I'm trying really hard)

Anyway, remember before how I was talking about how wack synthesis prompts are? This one was a little less so, but it was also rather amusing because I am a gen z teenager who lives vicariously through memes on the internet. That's right, I got to write an entire essay about veganism, and I wasn't even sarcastic! And I got a 7, which is, I guess, the real point of including this piece. 

I know, a whole three pages! And in pen, the writing utensil that was created to make me go insane! (all that darn INK everywhere!) But anyway, the point of including this piece is to show just how awesome I am at writing synthesis essays, so amazing that I could write one with no prior practice and still get a 7. What's that? Oh, no, head voice, I'm not this narcissistic in real life. 

In all, non-sarcastic honesty, even though we learned the synthesis last and only a few weeks before test date, I was already pretty comfortable with it. I guess that's just another example of how well this class prepared me for things: I didn't need to know the specifics of a synthesis to be able to write a good one, just the essay basics I had already been taught. Yes, it was difficult and confusing to have to incorporate sources into my argument without having any prior experience, but even then, I used all three of my sources in the first paragraph and none in the second one, and I still got a high grade. That alone gave me more confidence going into the test, because I already knew that the structure didn't have to be perfect for me to do well. So, in a way, the start of AP Lang broke down any confidence I'd ever had in my essay writing, but over the course of the year, it built it all back up again and reinforced it; I just didn't realize it until it showed itself in my writing. I doubt I'll ever be able to structure a synthesis perfectly, but I know I've been prepared enough and don't need it to be perfect for it to be at least acceptable. 

The golden rule of synthesis